‘Love From’ – by Vivi Violette
April 11, 2016
Vivi Violette, the artist behind Love From, shares her thoughts on love and love letters:
Love is not really something I ever saw fit to believe in. When I was 16 I swore I would never love anyone but myself, I’d seen the movies, known too many broken families and even though I had never experienced heartbreak, I knew it was an inevitable, painful part of loving. As I got older I began to entertain the idea of romance and even though it terrified me, I began to believe that maybe the heartbreak would be worth it.
Surely a disappointment to my sixteen year old self, I’ve fallen in love a lot since then, and felt heartbroken just as many times. I’ve written so many love letters, poems and songs to all those people, things I have never said to them, and never will. I made such beautiful memories with those past loves of mine, even though they brought me to tears in the end, I will always love them for the way they inspired me.
‘Love From,’ was born from my desire to hear about love from every perspective I could gather, even if that love was bitter or lost. I wanted to believe in it all again, I wanted to believe that loving was worth risking heartbreak. I wanted to feel love from the world and return it back in a sensational way so that it could inspire others, the same way each and every letter inspired me.
Sadly, some people may never receive a love letter, or write one for someone else. A love letter is such a vulnerable piece of writing, emotional and honest. It’s an all or nothing confession most of the time, a rare view into someone’s heart. No matter how raw or refined, it was a privilege to bear witness to so much love in its thousands of forms.
I had never intended to publicly present the personal letter that I had written for this project. However it only seems fair that I share mine now, as so many strangers have given me theirs to read and rearrange. It seems unfair I would ask people to expose their words to me without sharing my words back. So here lies a piece of my open, honest and vulnerable heart, a goodbye love letter that I never sent;
How many times have you broken my heart? How many times have I broken yours? How many times have we had this same fight?
I saw so much of myself in you, I hope you saw it too. I hope you see past all the things I’ve said and done and continue to love me even though we aren’t speaking anymore.
I wish I didn’t try to hurt you so much, I wish I didn’t have to keep trying to justify it to myself. You hurt me too but maybe you never did it on purpose, maybe that makes me the bad person.
I wish I could forgive you. I wish I could forgive myself. I wish I never lost you.
You consumed me. You were like a candle, so bright so warm, but slowly sucking the oxygen out of the air until I couldn’t breathe anymore.
Sometimes I still can’t breathe when I think of you.
Now you’re gone, now I’m happy, now I’m free.
But this will never stop hurting.
And I will never stop missing you.
Words by Vivi Violette